As the title says, be warned, this is not a business post. This is a life post, which has some relevance to business in the terms of selling or speaking in public.
As I sit here at the local Borders, due to not feeling 100% combined with the weather being lousy this morning, I am enjoying getting through a good amount of housekeeping type of items (I have defeated my email and have 3 in my inbox, and all assigned to tasks in our CRM), it is nice and quiet and I have my headphones in listening to James Yuill, great work music btw. Unfortunately, and this is important, I left my sound blocking or whatever they’re called at home and have to use the ones that come with an ipod, the cheap white ones that hurt your ears. They also allow noise to come in.
Along comes a group of people who gather at a table and roll in a podium and put up a banner that says Toastmasters. They start rotating people speaking at the front, and I can hear them but not exactly what they are saying. What they are saying is not so important, as I google and find that this is a global association focused on the art of and effective pursuit of public speaking. I look over at them once in a while and one guy is slowly and methodically pointing to his socks and talking about them, I believe to specifically add a reason to use his hands and body in speaking. They all are doing things and look quirky and somewhat like robots. All these little quirks and things that to me are somewhat programmed are the same things that I remember in some class I was in once how to effectively speak in public. I know that fear of public speaking is like the 1st or 2nd largest fear in life, and I commend people for facing those fears and trying to get better at what they do, but the reason it’s pertinent to this blog and I feel somewhat passionate about it, there is no trick. Similar to there being no sales gimmick that works. I recall a story I have told about one week having 2 separate people come into the office and make an awkward comment about how nice the model Mercedez blah number blah letter is, how great of a car it is. I got the car as a Secret Santa gift from someone in the office and keep it there for my son. This is some trick they were told would be engaging to a person they are selling to, complimenting them on something in their office probably, taught in a sales course somewhere. I would never buy anything from either of them.
When we speak in public or try to sell something, I believe there is only one thing we should strive for to be better. Learn how to relax and be confident. There is nothing more appealing that a person being themselves, being comfortable in their own skin and being confident. I do not believe any tricks or gimmicks can accomplish that. This coming from a person with arguably the worst case of generalized anxiety disorder ever diagnosed (at least according to me). I have had to find ways to relax and calm down for lost of different things, but what I did as a younger man taught me things I think have helped in these areas that cause people concerns.
I am not the best speaker or the best salesperson by any means, if I am good at either of them in any way it’s because I really don’t care what people think as long as I’m being myself, as I have a fairly high level of certainty that I am a good person and knowledgeable about what I say I’m knowledgeable about. I have people around me that are smarter, and I better let people know, or it’s unlikely we’ll be selected to do a very difficult assignment. I know I create value in ways better than some of my partners, and I know they do in many ways better than I ever could. Divide and conquer right?
I used to be in a band, I was the vocalist and sang and performed in that way and if plays and musicals in front of as few as 5 people to as many as maybe 1000 people, and the former is by far the more difficult. Speaking in front of people is nothing compared to needing to find something to do during an extended guitar solo from one of my band mates who at the time was far into the Grateful Dead, which I have never liked.
Further, working on myself for a number of different things, all related to this anxiety disorder, is the way I have improved myself most and given me the confidence I think I need in myself. The point is, and by the way it may be far more difficult that learning some tricks that are supposed to make someone want to hire you or believe in what you are saying, that looking deep inside ourselves and finding what makes us uncomfortable or in need of gimmicks, tools or what’s it called, when you have something with you to use? I can’t remember.
If there is anything that I need from someone or need someone’s services from, I will always be more comfortable hiring someone who can sit back, relax and be themselves, so long as they have looked deep to work on their flaws and face their demons, and I do believe that does show in some way, and not as a weakness, but as a strength, breeding confidence.
Good luck Toastmasters, I hope you accomplish everything you are setting out to do. I’ll be working on my public speaking for the rest of my life.
– Beider
The Lobby Level 